I guess we are going to say goodbye soon.  Well, I already knew this will happen.  From the start, I know that you are not here to stay.  I guess, I let myself feel things I should not feel in the first first place.  How stupid can one be?  I just never learn my lesson.  Anyway, I was probably wrong.  The chemistry was not there.  I only saw the things I wanted to see.  My eyes deceived me.

I will wake up one day and you will no longer be there.  I will no longer see your smile nor will I have someone to whom I can express my frustrations to.  Back to my old life, my old safe and uncomplicated life.  I want to stay there actually.  I want to stay in that shell where I am safe.

I wish I was able to run away from you before I even started feeling this way.  That is what I am good at, running away.  I run when I am scared.  I run when I don’t like the things that happen around me.  I go back to my own space, my own secluded place away from everyone.  I wish I went back there before I started caring for you.

Should I still tell you about it?  I am not sure if you should even know but I would probably want to let it out.  But what will happen if I do that?  Will I feel better or will it make things worse?  It will probably make things worse.

Categories : My Thoughts