Someone asked me if I will betray a friend just to get something that I want, and I said no.  I cannot.  I will not.  I shall not.  I only keep a few friends and I definitely want to keep my true friends forever.

Someone asked me if I’m happy and I was silent for a while.  How do you define happiness?  Well, in some aspects of my life, I can say I am happy and contented.  In some aspects, I cannot help but feel sad.  I am happy coz God has blessed me with .  another day.  Another chance to make up for my mistakes.  Another chance to somehow make some people smile or wipe the tears they cried because of me.  I’m sad coz there are a lot of things that I want to do, should have done, should have said but I did not.  I’m sad coz there are things that I shouldn’t have done, shouldn’t have said that I did.

Someone asked me if I’m in love.  Honestly, I don’t know the answer.  How do you define love?  Is it when you want to be with one person even if he just ignores you?  Is it when you smile with just a glimpse of him?  Is it when you feel better just to see him smile, even if he’s not really smiling at you?  Is it when you have those moments when he walks into the room and you feel the world stops for a while?  Is it when you are willing to do anything and everything just to see him smile?  Is it when you long to be with him every day and every night?  Is it when you still find time to think of him even when you have thousands of things to do and millions of thoughts on your mind?  Is it when you feel hurt whenever you see him with someone ealse?  Could be love, yes.  I guess, you can say it is love.  But will you still consider it as love when you are not sure if you are holding on to the person because of the person or you just hold on because he gave you a puzzle that only he can solve?

Someone asked me if I’m hurting.  I said yes.  My heart is broken.  Coz I think I am in love with someone yet, that someone does not seem to love me back.  When things changed because you crossed the line between friendship and love.  He used to be my friend.  We use to have fun.  We use to laugh at the corniest jokes.  There use to be no wall between us.  Now, there is one.  I am just waiting here.  I promised to be patient.  I promised to stay.  I will be here, even if it hurts.

Categories : My Thoughts