Realization or denial?  I am not really sure what this is but I definitely feel relieved.  After our conversation earlier, discussing our feelings, I came to realize that our relationship will not become better if we are together in a romantic way.  Getting romantic will tear us apart.  We are better off as friends than lovers and I think that is exactly what we feel.  We feel comfortable with each other since we share the same values and although we do not always have the same opinion about things, we still respect our differences.  I rarely find a man I can talk to the way I talk to you.  With you, I can speak my mind without fearing that you will find what I will say offensive or take it against me.  I enjoy your company and I know that you feel the same with me but we do not really see each other beyond that.  I do not see myself holding hands with you nor kissing you.  I want you to give me a hug but it was probably because of the security that it entails.  The warmth and security that a friend’s hug can give you when you feel down.

How deep is our friendship?  I don’t really know.  All I know now is that it is deep enough for me to confuse it with something romantic.  Deep enough to make me start thinking that if you are that important, maybe I am in love with you.  But not deep enough to make me feel that I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Categories : My Thoughts