It has been a long time since I opened this blog.  A lot of things happened, as always that stopped me from spending some time to write or maybe, I just didn’t know how to write my thoughts or the events in a way that will give them justice.  The past three years of my life had been quite eventful.  A lot of things changed that there are times when you can no longer see any traces of the past except through the memories or some pictures that had been left behind.  I am not even sure if I would want to remember some of the things that happened before but I guess, sometimes they are worth remembering for they served as the stones that led me to where I am now.  There are days when I feel like I woke up from a dream or days when I feel like I am in a dream.  Days that I fear would never last and days that I wanted to end.

I guess, that is life.  With all the ups and downs, twists and turns, you suddenly find yourself in places where you want to stay and where you cannot stay any longer than a few seconds.  It also brings people in and out of our lives.  Some stay only a few seconds, some a few hours, days or years.  Some you want to hold on to.  Some, you just want to get rid of.  It is full of things we like and things we hate.   Things that heals and things that hurt.

If someone will asks if there is anything I want to change, I will not deny that there are things that I want to be erased from my past.  Yet, on second thought, if those things that happened before did not happen, will my present life still be the same?  Maybe yes and maybe no.  So, with that thought I may decide not to change anything at all.  I am not saying my life is perfect now but I surely have grown a lot over the years and I believe the events in the past helped me grow and reach where I am now.  I still have some fears, doubts, and feel a lot of different emotions, both positive and negative but I believe it is part of being human.  The more I feel, the more human I become.  I will still fear the future every now and then but looking back to my past and looking at my present, the fears will subside.  I know that my life is in the hands of God and wherever life takes me, wherever those Hands take me, I will surely get somewhere where life is better either literally or metaphorically.  I may not see it in an instant, just like the fact that I did not see that my past will lead to this kind of present but with faith, I can surely get by.

Categories : My Thoughts