I’m sorry, I did not remain patient.  It was so hard for me to be patient.  A lot of doubts and negative thoughts enter my mind and I end up hating you.  Yet, at the back of my mind I know that I am wrong.  I have seen it.  I have felt it.  Yet, why won’t you confirm it?  It hurt me.  I never thought it also hurt you.  You seem to be doing well, philandering around while I sat at my corner watching you with my heart bleeding.  I should not have listened to what other’s say.  Of all people, I should have known better.  Because of this, I wanted to say I am sorry.  This time, I will listen to you alone, believe what I believe in because I see you and know you better than they do.

I’m so sorry for not believing what I feel.  Perhaps, I also feel too scared.  To scared that I maybe seeing and feeling only that things that I wanted to see and feel.  Fear that I may be expecting too much then be hurt in the end when you leave me.  I was so scared of losing you yet I have lost you because of that.  I was scared that you will leave me just like he did.  I was so scared that you don’t love me even if I felt that you did.  I was scared of my past.  Afraid that you cannot accept me, that you took my past against me.  Yet, I should have known better.   I’m sorry… and I will say it a million times if I have to so you will forgive me.

Take care my love.  I am so sorry for thinking negatively.  In the end, I pray that things will work out well for both of us.  That we reach our dreams together.  That you will hold my hand and that we embrace under the stars.  I am here for you.  I only wish to make you smile.  Let my love be your shelter, and yours my fortress. I love you dearly.

Cliche as it may sound, we hurt the ones we love.  But this time, we have started a different journey.  This time is the time for understanding, of an unexplicable understanding that only the two of us know.  It is as if our heart speaks what the mouth cannot utter.  The time when we don’t have to say a word but just one look, just one glance will already bring about a world of understanding.  Reason… who needs reason when we have love?

Categories : My Thoughts