Was there ever a time when you are waiting for your phone to ring and hope that it was me who’s calling you or sending you a text message?  Today, I feel that way for you.  I keep on checking my phone and everytime it rings, my heart skips.  It stops from beating until I see who’s actually calling me and finding out it’s not you.  I know I said goodbye.  Do you know what that means?  It means I am passing the ball to you.  It’s now you’re turn.  I will stop making any effort to make you fall for me.  I will not take any step closer to you.  It’s now your turn to do that.  It is now my turn to learn to appreciate and love myself more.  Finding out who I am and what I really want.

I will just stay this way.  Keep my phone on so that I won’t miss your call.  I am not sure if that will ever happen but my heart is very hopeful.  While I do that, please take care my love, and whenever you feel down, remember that I love you and I hope that makes you feel a bit better.  I have always find it comforting to realize that there are people who loves me.  When I am at my lowest, it feels great to know that there are people I can call and who will listen to my rantings no matter how trivial it may sound.  Whether it is just to tell them that my computer broke down or my internet connection is not working when I have some work to do.  Or just when I had a bad day and needed someone to talk to, someone who will tell me that things will be fine even if they don’t believe it will be.  Someone who will hug me when I am at my worst or just laugh at me when I am being childish.  Someone who will slap me when I am being stubborn or when I am too much to handle, or when I am not being realistic.  Someone who will tell me a joke when I feel sad or try to be funny just to make me smile.  You use to be that person and I want to be that person for you.  God, how I miss hearing your voice.  I can’t wait for my phone to ring.

Categories : My Thoughts, My Journey