I cried that night, yes.  I was hurt, that’s true.  Yet, that night brought a lot of good things to me.  I am not sure about how you feel after we talked that evening, but for me, after all the hurting, I was able to realize a lot of things.  I have come to search inside myself to know what is wrong with me.  I have come to realize what I need to do for myself and make steps towards that.  I have come to terms with my weaknesses and was able to plan towards improvement.

I have come to the core of my jealousy, my insecurity and now I am building my confidence again.  I have been able to detach myself from the smaller picture to be able to see the bigger picture.  Now, I see clearly.  I am no longer looking through murky waters.  Now, I will no longer force things to happen.  I will just go with the flow and let things naturally fall into place.  There are things I can control and there are things that I have no control of.  I have no control over your emotions nor your reactions, but I have control over mine.  I cannot influence your perception but I can do that with mine.  God has always been there for me, making things right, putting things into perspective.  Most of the time, He gives me more than what I have expected, things that are far better than the things I asked for.  He brought my ex out of my life and I wanted him bad badly.  I forced things to happen until I realize how much better my life had become without him.  Then, losing him is not what I want but I feel different now.  I have come to realize that what happened is for my own good.   Now, my faith tells me that things will also fall into place and only the things that are good will happen and will remain.  I already know that He brought you into my life for a purpose - some had already been served.  The only question is, will there be more and how long it will last.  No matter what, you will always have a place in my heart.

Categories : My Thoughts, My Journey