Five years ago. my heart was broken by another man.  Others came, but I am just not ready.  Then he came.  A childhood friend.  A long lost love.  So, I opened my heart, started to trust.  If it was not him, I wouldn’t have fallen in love.  If it was not him, I will surely have a hard time trusting.  If it wasn’t him….

Then he left and someone came.  I do not understand how I feel.  I don’t know what it’s called.  I get anxious when he is away.  I am happy when he is near.  I am afraid to lose him.  Yet, I am afraid to let him come close.  I wanted tno run away from him and I wanted to run towards him.  I am not sure why and what is it I feel.  What I am sure of is I don’t want to return to the man who hurt me.  That if I have but two choices, loving you or returning to him, I would rather take the risk of falling for you than to return to him.

I wanted to let it flow, yet patience is not one of my virtues.  I wanted to know what will happen next.  I wanted to solve this puzzle.  Yet, I know it’s not in my power.  God’s wisdom is far from my own.  God’s plan will reveal itself in His time and not mine.  I pray for patience.  I pray for His will to unfold.

Categories : My Journey