The year is about to end.  I’m not sure if the world will last longer.  I still have my dreams yet the future had always been uncertain.  But who cares about the future when God is calling you now?  I would be more than happy to accept death coz it only means I will be reunited with my Creator.  Even my love for my beloved will not be reason enough for me to choose life.

I want to serve God in all ways I can and cannot.   I want to be like Saint Paul and be able to say “Not I but Him who lives in me”.  This kind of life that I long for - a life of prayer and penance, a life fully dedicated to God can only be achieved by entering the convent, by becoming a contemplative nun.  Bringing me into a state of confusion because a part of me is dreaming of becoming a wife and a mother.  I dream of becoming my beloved’s wife, his perfect wife, yet I also want to be the perfect spouse to my Lord Jesus.

I pray for God’s guidance and the grace to love God more and above all else.

Categories : My Thoughts, My Journey