Today, I have made a decision to move forward.  I will just live my life the way I want to and stop thinking of you.  I have a lot on my plate right now.  New things, new experiences, new tasks.  I don’t know what life will bring but I sure am going to live my life to the fullest.  Who knows, maybe love will come my way someday soon.  God knows when that will be.  I am giving Him the pen now, letting Him write my life story.  For now, I will just live.  I will be happy, I know.  You may have hurt me and there are a lot of questions that still needs to be answered.  I know that I cannot find the answers now, perhaps in time, those will be revealed to me.  Or maybe, I won’t need to know the answers anyway.  There was a point when I wanted to hurt you as much as you hurt me, but what good will that do to me?  Now, you did me wrong and I know that there will be justice.  However, if I take justice in my own hands, I will then become the culprit.  So, I am leaving it that way.  You hurt me and God will take care of what you have done.  Perhaps, it already is taking it’s toll on you.  I have always believed that when things are going the right direction, then it means that I am where God wants me to be and I am doing His will.  But when things go wrong, it can mean two things: that I need to be reminded of His presence and that I need Him in my life; second will be that things are just not right for me or I might have done something wrong.  I remembered you saying that things are not working the way you wanted them to, perhaps, it is time to look at yourself and see if you are doing something wrong.

I do not want to hold any grudge on you, but I hope you realize what you did and never do it again to anyone else.  People have feelings and they do not deserve to be hurt or betrayed.   I have always believed in the goodness of people, that everyone does not have any hidden motives or bad intentions.  I think this is why I end up getting hurt, because I trust too much too soon.  What can I do?  I have no ill intentions nor do I capitalize on others weaknesses for my own gain.  I am like that so I think others are like that as well.  I asked you to explain but I guess you are not willing to do so, that is why I am now struggling against these negative thoughts.  I am lifting it all up to God now.  All the pains you have caused me, same with the happiness.  I will not hold on to them any longer.  I am letting God take care of everything, He knows better anyway.

Categories : My Thoughts, My Journey