I have a confession to make.  Just last night, I blamed God for what happened to me.  Just last night I cried to Him, asking Him why He is so cruel to me.  I asked Him why He is punishing me for a sin that we committed together.  I asked Him why things had to happen in order to hurt me.  I asked Him  why I had to see him again only to lose Him.

Four years ago, I asked God for a man who will really love me.  When he came, I asked God that if this is just temporary, if  he will come and leave me, please do not let me fall for him.  But He let me love him, and now I love him deeply yet He took him away from me.  For four years, I waited and prepared for the day when we will take a vow in front of God that we will love and care for each other until our last breath.  Yet, now, it is almost impossible for me to reach that dream.  All I asked for is a man who will really love me, is that so hard to give?

Nagtatampo ako sa Diyos.  Masama ang loob ko sa Kanya.  But then, again, at the back of my mind, I know I am wrong.  I should not question Him for His wisdom is far beyond my reach.  His will is only to give me what is best.  He loves me more than any other man can.  It is just my faith…. I should learn to trust Him.  I should have a stronger faith.  Please pray for me.

In general, it is not really wrong to ask God, after all, He is the One who has all the answers.  It is also human to sometimes feel down.   But what is important is that when you feel down or when you get angry at God, go to Him.  Talk to God.  Tell Him about your pain, your anger, your fears.  Ask Him your questions.  He may not give you the answer right away.  You may often times think that He is not listening, but He is.  He will answer your questions in His time.  Then,… you will surely be grateful that you went to Him instead of going away from Him.

Categories : My Journey