It’s been a while since I last asked myself this question. For the longest time, I thought I know where I’m heading and that this is what I want. Yet, this past few days, I have been feeling empty. I feel the urge to search for something, not really knowing what I’m looking for. My life has never been better. I am contented for the most part but there is a part of me that wants to run away. Perhaps, I am just too scared. But what is there to be scared of? For the past few months, my life seem to get better each day. My career is a bit dead-end but what more can I ask for - I have a good boss, the pay is good, though I sometimes get stressed, but that’s quite normal. I even have time to do some freelance work. My relationship with my family is great, especially now that I am able to support them more. My friends and I are able to spend more time together. What else could be missing?

I use to have a plan but now I feel like testing destiny and see where it will take me. I applied for some odd jobs in different country. Somewhere where I can escape from everything. Perhaps, being in a far away place can also save me from experiencing another heartache. I don’t want to fall in love again but I know I cannot stop it from happening. I have been through enough pain, I don’t want to go through it again. I have never been so scared of the future except now.

Categories : My Journey