Have you ever felt something for someone that you thought it is for real, but as time goes by, it starts to diminish that you begin to think that it is just an illusion?

Have you ever put someone in a pedestal but as you know the person deeper, that pedestal begins to fall?

I have felt all these….

I have felt this to an officemate I thought was really hardworking. He comes to the office really early and is often the last person to leave. He even goes to work during weekends. With this in mind, I even gave him an award as the most hardworking. Then, as time goes by, I have learned that he comes to the office to finish work for his sidelines. I found out that he stay late to watch animes using the company PCs and expensive bandwidth. I stopped trusting this man that I cannot leave him in the office anymore.

I have felt it with my ex. I met him years ago, when I was still a kid. I thought he is someone strong. Astig pa sya nun. After years of separation, I thought he remained the same. That he is the same boy I look up to. Yet, as I get to know him and absorbed all his angst, fill his weaknesses… The weight on my shoulder grew heavier each day that I can no longer have a clear view of my future. Then he left me with no idea on what I want to happen with my life anymore. I stopped dreaming then. Now, I have regained myself. Started dreaming and hoping again. Now, he is coming back but I can no longer be there for him.

I felt it for someone I met. I thought he is ideal. Then, as things begin to unfold he seem no different from the rest of the guys out there. Cunning, deceiving, weak. The feeling I thought was love begins to diminish and now I don’t know what else is left. Could be a question that has been left unanswered… Could be friendship or just a spec of admiration.

Categories : My Thoughts, My Journey