During my college years, I often go to the Pink Sisters convent in Baguio City.  I also love spending time in the school chapel.  Going to those places gives me a certain serene feeling that I cannot find anywhere else.  It feels like nothing else matters for I am in the presence of my Saviour.  Then, when we had our recollection when I was on my second year, I thought of becoming a nun.  Not just a nun but a contemplative. Yet, my family experienced a big financial blow that made me reconsider.

My brother entered the seminary in 2005.  I remembered that day when I first thought of entering the convent but I know I am no longer worthy.  When my boyfriend left me, I was lost and devastated.  I have been so broken that I know only Jesus can heal me.  I went to stay in a convent for a couple of days.  Experiencing the life that I use to dream of.  A life of prayer, a life devoted to God.

Now, I am reading the life of St. Veronica Guiliani and it stirred a lot of emotions in my heart.  Her life struck me in such a way that I wanted the same kind of life for myself - a life of suffering consecrated with the suffering of our Lord.  A life dedicated to console our God for all the outrages and indifferences that He experienced.  The call to this kind of life is becoming so strong that it confuses me for there was a point in my life when I already decided that I want to have my own family.  But this kind of life is so enticing, so inviting but I know it is only possible if I will enter the convent.

My God has been greatly offended.  I, myself, have caused Him so much pain.  I created this blog to serve a spiritual purpose which I know I did not meet.  Now, in the beginning of this new year, I hope to achieve that.  To take each one of you in this spiritual journey… my journey home and I hope to take all of you who will read this blog with me.

Categories : My Thoughts, My Journey