I guess, I just have to learn from my past lessons.  Here I am again.  I already know that there’s a lot of risk when I continue so I just have to stop myself from getting close to you.  You never gave me any puzzle to solve.  You never told me anything that can be misconstrued as something else.  You are just being yourself and I cannot help but be drawn to that.  You are such a nice person and the more I get to know you, the more I like you.  There seem to be a magnet that draws me to you from the day we met and you salute at me like I am your comrade.  I feel so light when I talk to you.  No pressure on being someone else because I know that you are also being yourself.  What I see is what I get.  You are weird in a nice and cute way. I just wish I can get hold of my heart this time.  I don’t want to fall for you.  I just want to stay this way.  I just want to enjoy your company because I know, I cannot really be the one you will fall in love with.

I hope I can keep the distance.  Refrain from falling in love so I can enjoy your company without the complications of falling in love.  Just that, I was already attracted to you from the very first time I saw you and that attraction just grows deeper each day as I get to know you more.  Who will not be attracted to your looks and gentle ways.  Your smile is like sunshine -I know that’s cliche but it really feels like a bright summer day when you smile.  I feel your presence when you pass by. I guess, I will just refrain from seeing you again, from talking to you again.  Put the wall around me just like what I use to do.  All defenses up that it’s starting to give me anxiety.  Anxiety for restraining myself, stopping myself from feeling that light and warm feeling I feel when I am with you, when I am talking to you or just seeing you pass by.

Categories : My Journey