i couldn’t fall asleep
there was so much on my mind
searching for that peace
but the peace i could not find
so then i kneeled down to pray
praying help me please

but then HE said you don’t have to cry
cause i’ll supply all your needs

as soon as i stop worrying,
worrying how the story ends,
i let go and let God
let God have his way

that’s when things satrt happening
when i stopped looking back then
i let go and i let God
Let God have his way

He’s the only one with the answers
JUST LET GOD
he can handle it all, yes he can,
with your tears in your eyes, just let God
He feels your pain
Let go and Let God
and he know your heart
Let Go and Let God
He knows your issues
LET GO AND LET GOD
he knows your struggles

i have to realize that it’s not my battle,
not my battle to fight
i have to know if i put it in your hands
everything will be alright..

LET GO, LET GOD have his way…

1. Longing for light, we wait in darkness.
Longing for truth, we turn to you.
Make us your own, your holy people,
light for the world to see.

Refrain
Christ, be our light! Shine in our hearts.
Shine through the darkness.
Christ, be our light!
Shine in your church gathered today.

2. Longing for peace, our world is troubled.
Longing for hope, many despair.
Your word alone has power to save us.
Make us your living voice.

3. Longing for food, many are hungry.
Longing for water, many still thirst.
Make us your bread, broken for others,
shared until all are fed.

4. Longing for shelter, many are homeless.
Longing for warmth, many are cold.
Make us your building, sheltering others,
walls made of living stone.

5. Many the gifts, many the people,
many the hearts that yearn to belong.
Let us be servants to one another,
making your kingdom come.

MY THOUGHTS:  I came across this song in youtube and fell in love with it.  It is so moving that I almost cried.  How I wish I can serve God in this way.  That like Saint Francis, I will be a channel through which God’s people meet Him and be one with Him.

Tired of weaving dreams too loose for me to wear
Tired of watching clouds repeat their dance on air
Tired of getting tired of doing what’s required
Is life a mere routine in the greater scheme of things

Through with taking roads someone else designed
Through with chasing stars that soon forget to shine
Through with going through one more day - what’s new
Does my life still mean a thing in the greater scheme of things

REFRAIN 1:
I think I’ll follow the voice that calls within
Dance to the silent song it sings
I hope to find my place
So my life can fall in place
I know in time I’ll find my place
In the greater scheme of things

Each must go his way, but how can I decide
Which path I should take, who will be my guide
I need some kind of star to lead me somewhere far
To find a higher dream in the greater scheme of things

The road before me bends, I don’t know what I’ll find
Will I meet a friend or ghosts I left behind
Should I even be surprised that You’re with me in disguise
For it’s Your hand I have seen in the greater scheme of things (REFRAIN 1)

BRIDGE:
For Yours is the voice in my deepest dreams
You are the heart, the very heart
Of the greater scheme of things (REFRAIN 1)

REFRAIN 2:
Why don’t we follow the voice that calls within
Dance to the silent song it sings
One day we’ll find our place
For all things fall in place
For all things have a place
In the greater scheme of things

My Thoughts:   We are all pilgrims on a journey.  Trying to find our place in the sun.  Only God can lead us there.  Only He can show us the way.  Let Him take your hand and lead you, for only then can everything fall into place.

REFRAIN:

In Him alone is our hope
In Him alone is our strength
In Him alone are we justified
In Him alone are we saved

What have we to offer
That does not fade or wither
Can the world ever satisfy
The emptiness in our hearts
In vain we deny (REFRAIN)

When will you cease running
In search of hollow meaning
Let His love feed the hunger
In your soul till it overflows
With joy you yearn to know (REFRAIN)

DESCANT:
In Him alone is our hope
Unto Him I pour out my heart
He alone will save me
With His love and mercy.

My Thoughts:  Where can I find happiness, except in His presence.  Where will I find peace except in His arms.  My strength comes from Him.  He is my fortress, my shield.  Where can I find my life’s meaning but in following His will.  Where can I find contentment but in His providence.  I may gain the whole world but I can never find the peace and contentment here on earth.  Only His love can fill me.  Only God can make me rest.  Only in His arms can I find fulfillment.  For what profits a man when gains the whole world but loses his soul?  I will stop running, God embrace me, that I may rest in peace.

Manatili ka kahit sandali
Hihilumin Ko ang iyong hapdi
Bakit lagi nang nagmamadali
Di malilisan ang ‘yong pighati

Isaysay sa ‘Kin lahat mong pait
Yayakapin Ko lahat mong sakit
Manahimik na’t mata’y ipikit
Bubulungan ka ng ’sang oyayi

Kailan titigilan ang ‘yong katatakbo
Kailan pipigilan pagpasan mo sa mundo

Manatili ka kahit sandali
Buuin muli ang ‘yong sarili
Magtiwala ka’t tayo’y magwawagi
Ang pulang ulap ay mahahawi

My Thoughts:  I pray that I can be still.  I remember years ago, when I met a visionary.  He prayed over me and said that God is telling not to worry.  That God will take care of everything.  My dreams are in His hand.  I was crying then.  I felt the urge to just let go of myself but I did not.  I tried to take control.  Now, God is telling to be still and let him take over.  For me to be still and let him hold the reigns.  Yet, I tried to hold on to it.  I just cannot let go, not realizing that I am just sabotaging everything by doing so.  God’s plans are far better than mine.  God’s ways are way beyond my ways.  Slowly, I am letting go, yet I have already done things that cannot be undone.  There are things I’ve said that cannot be unsaid.  I have created more mess than fix it.  Now, I just hope it’s not too late for God to take control and fix my life again.

O Diyos, Ikaw ang laging hanap
Loob ko’y Ikaw ang tanging hangad
Nauuhaw akong parang tigang na lupa
Sa tubig ng ‘Yong pag-aaruga

Ika’y pagmamasdan sa dakong banal
Nang makita ko ang ‘Yong pagkarangal
Dadalangin akong nakataas aking kamay
Magagalak na aawit ng papuring iaalay

KORO:
Gunita ko’y Ikaw habang nahihimlay
Pagkat ang tulong Mo sa tuwina’y taglay
Sa lilim ng Iyong mga pakpak
Umaawit akong buong galak

Aking kaluluwa’y kumakapit sa ‘Yo
Kaligtasa’y tiyak kung hawak Mo ako
Magdiriwang ang hari, ang Diyos, S’yang dahilan
Ang sa Iyo ay nangako, galak yaong makamtan (KORO)

CODA:
Umaawit, umaawit
Umaawit akong buong galak

My Thoughts:  My sister put this song in my playlist one time, after the break-up.  Then, one evening, I just heard myself singing this song on my way home.  I hear the lines

Aking kaluluwa’y kumakapit sa ‘Yo
Kaligtasa’y tiyak kung hawak Mo ako
Magdiriwang ang hari, ang Diyos, S’yang dahilan
Ang sa Iyo ay nangako, galak yaong makamtan

kept repeating itself in my mind.  When I got home, I immediately turned my pc on and searched for this song in youtube.  As the song plays, I cried.  I cried not because I am hurt.  I cried because I realized how God loves me.  He lifted my spirit through this song.  He made me realize that inspite the uncertainties, there is one thing that is certain - His love for me never ceases.  He promised us joy and we will surely achieve it.  God did not want us to be miserable.  Misery is only one of his ways to reach out to us, to wake us up, to call on us.  It is just His way of telling us “Child, I am here.  Return to me, your Father.  Come back Home.”

The God of silence beckons me
To journey to my heart
Where He awaits
O Lord, I hear You calling tenderly
To You I come to gaze
At the beauty of Your face I cannot see

To rest in Your embrace I cannot feel
To dwell in Your love hurting but sweet
To be with You; to glimpse eternity

God of night, fount of all my delight.
Show Your light . . . that my heart, like Yours, burn bright.

Be still the torment of the night
Will not encumber you, if you believe
My child this darkness isn’t emptiness
For here I mold your heart
Unto My image painfully you long to see

The self you yearn to be, but fear to know
The world from which you flee in Me find home
All these I give you, if you remain in Me

COUNTERPOINT:
I am ever here
My child, you need not fear
The dark will set you free
And bring your heart to Me

CODA:
The God of silence beckons me
To journey to my heart
Where He awaits me.

My Thoughts:  In our lives, there are times when there are things we cannot understand.  Moments when we feel that we are surrounded by darkness.  During these moments, we feel fear, hatred, doubts, sadness, loneliness, hopelessness and a lot of other negative feelings towards God and other people.  During our times of failures and defeat, we ask God why it has to happen.  Then answer is easy…. but is sometimes hard to accept.   During these times, God wants us to feel His love for us.

The  trials and storms are not there to torment us, torture us or cause us pain.  Trials are there so God can mold us into His image.   To bring us back to Him after we have gone astray.  Even if we are in pain right now, He will stay by our side until we get through this storm.  He is just there guiding us until we find our way back to His kingdom… our home.  And as long as we believe in Him, as long as we let Him do His will, we can face each storm and trials with a smile on our face and with the hope that in the end….. we will be home.

During our times of trials, He is just there, waiting inside our hearts, waiting patiently for us to hear Him and let Him ease our pain.

Paanong di kita ibigin
Paanong di ka patawarin
Bago man isilang sa lupa
Ika’y akin na’ng inaruga

Paanong ako’y ‘yong lisanin
Paanong ako’y ‘yong limutin
Gayon man poot papawiin
Ang Iyong pagbalik hihintayin

KORO:
Sa bawat pagtawag ko sa ‘yo
Sa bawat hakbang mong palayo
Nananangis ‘tong yaring puso
Hangad pa rin ang piling mo

Paanong di kita ibigin
Paanong di ka patawarin
Bago man isilang sa lupa
Ika’y akin nang inaruga

CODA:
Paanong di kita ibigin

My thoughts:  At times, we hear God speaking to us but we just ignore Him.  At times, we hear God calling us, but we do not heed His call.  Perhaps, because we are busy or pre-occupied by things in this world.  Yet, when we need Him, He never turn His back on us.  His love never ceases even when we neglect Him.  His love never ceases even when we feel that we do not need it.  Like the father in the parable of the Prodigal Son, God is there waiting for us, His arms wide open and ready to accept us without any question.  He will not ask us why. He will not ask us where we have been, the most and only important thing is that we are back.

His heart cries whenever we neglect Him, yet He never complains.  In my life now, perhaps, I am feeling the same.  I know that my love is nothing compared to that of God, yet I know He must have felt the same thing I am feeling now.  Before, my thoughts are focused on the man I love.   Now, he has left me.  Unlike God, I ask why and how could he do that to me.  Unlike God, I cannot accept him again, if he will ever come back, unless he proves himself worthy and changed.  Yet, like God, my heart cries with his every step away from me.  Like God, I still love him in spite of everything.

Now I know, how God must have felt during those times when I ignore His words and as I move away from Him.  Now, I hope not to hurt Him again.

Pagsapit ng gabing kulimlim naririto Ako
Papawiin Ko ang lumbay mo
Kukumutan ka ng saya
At aakayin Ko ang pagsikat ng umaga

Yakapin mo’ng kaloob Kong buhay sa iyo
Sa piling Ko damhin mo ang mundo
Sa kapwa mo muling mabibigo
Kapayapaan Ko lamang ang sasagip sa iyo.

Anumang tagal ng gabi, kasama mo Ako
Di mo man tanto, narito Ako
Ang buhay Ko’ng nagdudulot ng buhay sa iyo
Kadilimang ito ay kakayanin mo

Pagsapit ng gabing kulimlim naririto Ako
Papawiin Ko ang lumbay mo
Kukumutan ka ng saya
At aakayin Ko ang pagsikat ng umaga

My thoughts: My sister and I bought the God of Silence CD of the Bukas Palad Ministry a few months ago.  That is after we heard and saw the song Empty Space in YouTube.  The CD contains a lot of inspiring songs, in fact, all songs are great in different ways.  This song is the one I have been listening to more often for the past few weeks.

It reminds us of God’s promise to carry us during our lowliest times.  He promise us that He will be there during the darkest moments of your life, even when you do not notice it.  He will never leave us but will remain with us until we see the sun shine again.

It also reminds us, that everyone can betray us or hurt us, but God will still be there with you no matter what.  In my life, I had been betrayed and hurt a lot of times by other people - people I love, people I trust.  My boyfriend for four years who was also my friend for more than 10 years betrayed and hurt me just recently.  I was so devastated, hurt, I was badly bruised.  Perhaps, I am bruised to the core.  I have built my world around this man and now, he is gone.

Yet, I know God is still there with me.  He is there when I was happy loving this man and He is there now that this man left me.  It is comforting to know that there is someone who loves me in spite of my imperfections.  That there is someone who never left my side even if I take Him for granted.  Someone who is more worthy of my love.  Someone who will make sure that I will be allright and things will be better when I am ready.

I am still hurting now.  There are times when I still cry.  There are still times when I lose hope and doubt that things will be better.  Yet, when I close my eyes and pray, I realize that God is still there, watching me, loving me.

KORO:
O Hesus, hilumin Mo
Aking sugatang puso
Nang aking mahango
Kapwa kong kasimbigo

Hapis at pait Iyong patamisin
At hagkan ang sakit
Nang magningas ang rikit (KORO)

Aking sugatang diwa’t katawan
Ay gawing daan
Ng ‘Yong kaligtasan (KORO)

My thoughts:  When I first listened to this song, I did not really pay much attention.  I thought it was nice, but everything in my life was doing well at that time.  Then, just a few weeks ago, this song suddenly found a different meaning in my life.  I lost the man I have loved for four years, he left me for another woman.  My world was shattered.  All my dreams popped like bubbles in the air.  All of a sudden, I found myself singing this song, praying for God to heal my wounds and make me whole again.

Yesterday, we visited my brother in the seminary and he said that it could be God’s way of telling me to give more time for Him.  That perhaps, God is calling me to write stories of inspiration, hope and of love so that as God heals me, I also help God heal those who are broken like me.  So, here I am now, writing my first blog.  Praying for the grace to touch the hearts and minds of those whom the Lord wants to reach through me.

My brother also said, that the world needs hope especially in these times when everything you see is chaos - broken families, corruption, disasters, and a lot of other things.  During these times, it is so easy to lose hope and fall into despair.  I know, because I felt the same.  Yet, God talked to me through my mind and through those people around me, saying that in the end, All Shall Be Well.  Everything happens for a purpose and His purpose is always to give us what is Best for US.